A go-to response is one we use without conscious thought; it is a developed habit. What is your go-to behavior during conflict? What conflict habits have you seen your work team using?
People respond to conflict in many different ways. Some responses are healthy and lead to Productive Conflict, others…not so much! The go-to responses we have when our emotions are high in a conflict situation may later lead to regret. Leaders frequently must manage the aftermath of destructive go-to behavior during workplace conflict.
As you read the four examples of destructive go-to conflict responses below, think about which one may be your habit and which drive you crazy when others behave this way.
- Overpowering: Involves drawing on all sources of power at our disposal to defeat someone during conflict. If other people’s opinions feel like a challenge to your authority you may feel justified in using this strategy to take control. Automatic thought leading to this behavior: “I won’t quit until I win, I don’t care what it takes.”
- Alternative Behavior: Acknowledge tough issues and encourage objective debate
- Drama: Displaying an over the top reaction to a situation. When we create drama we draw attention to the situation to demonstrate its importance and the injustice that’s been done to us. Automatic thought leading to this behavior: “This situation is awful/hopeless.”
- Alternative Behavior: Communicate empathy and openly discuss issues.
- Caving In: When the pain of being in conflict is so stressful we just give in to stop the conflict and decide to please others at the expense of our rights and opinions. Automatic thought leading to this behavior: “Putting up a fight just isn’t worth it.”
- Alternative Behavior: Listen to others, acknowledge other’s feelings; find compromises.
- Passive-Aggressive: This is a form of subtle, indirect resistance such as ignoring, eye rolling, nit-picking, procrastinating, and “conveniently” forgetting to do something. Automatic thought leading to this behavior: “I don’t want to talk about it but I can’t act like nothing happened.”
- Alternative Behavior: Step back and reflect, identify the root of the problem, communicate openly and honestly
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to learn how to “catch” yourself before going down a go-to destructive conflict path? If you are a leader in your organization, imagine a workplace where your team utilizes techniques that create Productive Conflict increasing harmony and productivity. The Everything DiSC® Productive Conflict program helps build a common language around appropriate conflict behavior in the workplace. To schedule your program, contact us at: Deborah.Avrin@ManagementSkillsInc.com or call 972 881-5282